Funny poems, ones that made me chuckle when i wrote them, hopefully you'll get the humor too. there will be more in time, enjoy.
A poem about the curse of Bad facial hair.
Beardy weirdy I am the barely bearded It don't grow well on me I try and nurture good facial hair But patchy growth i see You talk to it nicely But it just don't do much So patchy chin i have Prickly to the touch. A Poem by T Monk To feel happy
id like to feel happy no i really would have a smile in the morning making me feel good but there is a problem with making smiles come it is called other people there a right pain in the bum A poem by T Monk. Writers Block Writer’s block oh writer’s block How do you do it to me Thinking that im on a roll Then poetry deserts me Thinking hard to find something From deep inside my head Only for ideas to come and go Nothing to come of it So I sit and write about you Writers block ha ha You thought you’d come and do your worst But instead inspire this little verse It may be short But I am back Writers block please go and pack. A Poem by T Monk The Plum if you work in an office then you must have an office plum quite how he got his well paid job is a mystery for some for he is quite thickle his as sharp as a tea spoon and if you make conversation you know it will be over soon he looks at you quite thoughtfully did he understand? or did he just remember that his dinners round his grans so to the office plum i salute you for it takes skills that i don't have to be a convincing worker and be as thick as a plank. a poem by t monk 23/02/2011 21.01. Death and lay-ins. Death comes to all of us Some are ready and others are not Death does suck I suppose But the lay-ins I’ve heard are top. A Poem by T Monk A monkey widow a widower to monkeys how could this have come i blame you Rathbone and all your other chums of an evening now my other half just sits wired in to headphones listening to your hits so once again you monkeys a quiet night for me as my mrs nods her head and smiles wildly. a poem by t monk I am i am free i am he i am happy i am me i am silly i am odd i am grumpy i am a sod A Poem by T Monk |
The Speedy Man.
As i peddle hard Biking off to work Pumping those pedals With all my body's worth Pain on muscle growing Sweat forming on my brow This must be the fastest Ive ever travelled now But then something happened I did not see that come As cycle loon gently passes This mass of sweating man He seems to peddle gently And pull away with haste How the heck did he do that Road rage makes me give chase Alas twas not to be For knackered i well am Too pooped to peddle faster Not quite the speedy man. A Poem by T Monk. Time age and wisdom Years come and go And we all get older This will never change Wiser however is not a cert Which I find a shame a poem by T Monk Happy Happy people are they for real With smiles and cheery face Im a grump and proud of it I aint no disgrace For I see with reality The bad points that I must mention Cant just sit there smiling makes me feel ive water retention A Poem by T Monk My face I cannot believe my face When relaxed and calm Deep lines now permanently on display They are not a charm For years of smiling are not good For lines this does induce So I declare from this day forth A miserable git I will set forth To rid my face of smiling pity For deep lines just are not pretty For a face of plough lines and deep recess Just get me a little depressed For it is not smiling that cause lines It is the fact im getting on in time Age is the cause There is no cure So love my lines my wrinkly flaw Rain on my day off we need the rain i know we do but why does it rain when im off have so many plans you see that's why im so miffed off as rain comes down plants do grow this i know is good but why not do it late at night when im in land of nod its just not fair on my day off for rain to come down fast just leave it till the night time please this is all i ask it wont happen i know but you cant blame me for groaning rain at weekend time for me it makes me start a moaning A Poem by T Monk Budgie smugglers Beware the Budgie smugglers For on country roads They pounce upon the motorist With glee it must be told For riding on their carbon bikes On winding country roads Its just not nice a site for me For overtaking not an option see For wobbly bikes in front of me Pumping away on pedals they do In shorts of horrific lycra true The site alone doth turn your gut Varicose vain on aged butt You cant get by You cant ignore The site of aged biking bore In front of you No way to pass 20mph and that’s not fast So you sit Waiting your time Overting your eyes to his fashion crime For the budgie smuggler He don’t care He be biking You take care…. A Poem by T Monk bike riders please dont take offense. Bloomin Know all's Everyone knows better than me this is what im told so for all you clever sods out there may i be so bold please don't say this fact to me to my face i beg please don't else i might take umbrage and wring your scrawny neck. a humorous poem by t monk ODD if i was a bug then i would be a busy busy busy busy bumble bee if i was a dog then i would be a totally nutty Lab you see if i was a cat then i would not be because im a dog man dont like cats you see if i was a bird then i would be a majestic swan on a lake hehe but a man is what i am you see, tee hee pipip toudle pop poowee. a bad poem by t monk Saturday night they have arrived on the Saturday night out beer in hand to scream and shout thinking their cool for all to see they've had their beer so brave are thee they stomp around looking hard you say boo they'd run real hard in gangs together there as strong as ever when all alone there not so clever they think invincible that's what they are through bad behavior they will go far thinking this is the right way to be the leery yob that's who they be their kingdom is the high street at night staggering around they don't look so right by evenings end when the trouble does start ego's flare c'mon lads dont start but someone will they always do England's future unruly at heart. |